Sort Of
by Rosalie Duquesne
Summary: My take on the break-up scene, 6x21, and what happened after. Spoilers if you have't seen it yet. Please read !


Story: Sort Of (1/1)

Author: Rosalie Duquesne

Rating: T

Pairing: (a disappearing) Callie and Arizona

A/N: Sighh…hi guys. I am very depressed about the current CalZona situation (as the rest of you are). Despite the sad atmosphere I was in awe of how well the scene was acted out, serious props to JCap and Sara. She had one scene, she came in at 9:53, the very end of the epi, and absolutely rocked her scene.

A/N 2: I listened to depressing music all night and most of the next morning. Then I came upon this song, which made this fic pop into my head. I started it the morning of my exam (which went pretty well…damn contradictory life) and finished it as I got home that evening.

_**A/N 3: **__Took me so long to perfect it, knowing that this couple deserves nothing less. Serious tears were produced while writing this fic, so I suggest you read with caution, even though I cry easily. Listen to "Sort Of" by Ingrid Michaelson while reading, it will emphasize the meaning I tried to convey._

_**A/N4: **__Enough of these annoying author's notes…hope you all like it…please review and tell me what you think, and your thoughts about the breakup…made my heart speed up, then fall. R & R pretty please…for CalZona…_

XXX

**I find you stunning, but you are running me down.**

**My love's too big for you, my love.**

**My love's too big for you, my love.**

Arizona smiled as she typed an email to her cousin, thanking her immensely for the timeshare she was loaning to her and Calliope. She honestly could not wait to get away from all of this. To get away from work, Seattle, the baby talk.

Just then the door opened and Callie entered. She looked a bit frustrated, but lately that seemed normal, so she began to talk, hoping that her news would brighten her day.

"Hey, we scored! My cousin said we could use their timeshare," she paused to look at the brunette, now taking off her jacket hastily, "So, Fiji. We can either go at the end of this month, or we could save up three weeks a time and rearrange our surgical schedules and go at the end of next month."

She ended the sentence with a dimpled smile, hoping that they would work to her advantage. But much to her dismay, she simply sat on the coffee table in front of her, holding out her hand to show the blonde. Arizona began to frown at the almost invisible digits on her girlfriend's hand.

"What's that?" she asked, punctuating it with a nervous chuckle.

"It's this cute girl's number. And I can't get it off."

She knew that Calliope would not call her, she knew that she was more committed to them than that. But she could not help her face falling as Callie continued the conversation they were due to have, but did not want to. They wanted to live in what they had, not face the truth of their situation. Because this time there was no middle ground, no safe spot where they could stay until they figured things out.

Calliope wanted a baby and she didn't. Simple as that. Only it wasn't.

"And I'm- I'm not gonna use it. I don't wanna use it," she stops for a moment, knowing she had to say it, but Arizona's saddened face made her hesitate. She did not want to be the one to break them up, but they were going nowhere…and fast.

"But I- I can't stop wondering if maybe she wants a baby, one day."

Callie tried to look into those beautiful blue eyes. Those beautiful sky blue eyes that brought her solace, that calmed her in less than a minute, those sky blue eyes that belonged to the blonde in front of her, the love of her life. She knew that she would never find another Arizona, but she did not know what else they cold possibly do. She did not want to face this, the end. It was far too painful for her to deal with. To let go the love of her life, because of a difference in their views of their future together.

Arizona lets out a breath, this conversation was a long time coming. They dragged it out, hoping for the best, which refused to happen. She did _not_ want to be the one to prevent Calliope from having a baby, the one thing she might probably need more than her.

"I love you," Callie says, almost a whisper, but it was as powerful as if she had shouted it from the top of the building. It still shook Arizona to her core.

"Everything about you," she said a little louder, letting out a breath as she continued, her voice getting stronger, "But there's this one thing that I need, and I can't change it, and I can't ask you to change, I don't want you to change."

Everything about this woman made Callie's heart melt. From her blonde locks, to the ridiculous heelys she's so adamant on wearing. To change her would be to turn her into someone else, someone she didn't love. No matter how small the change, Callie would know the difference. Arizona Robbins has a quirky childish personality and pulls it off brilliantly. To change that would be to change her, who she is, and what she believes in, and Callie could never do that to her.

"And I can't be the one who keeps you from having a baby," Arizona supplies quickly, finally voicing the truth herself. Finally able to face the harsh reality that is their relationship.

"I love you, too," she says, struggling not to cry. But she feels as if her words fall short. As if they aren't enough. She loves Calliope Torres more than words can say, more than she can show. She loves her so much that it feels physically painful to let her go. She looks at her Calliope, hoping that it wouldn't be the last time she would be able to look at her so closely.

"And we can keep going-"

Callie interrupts her, almost whining, "But I don't know where were going."

She can deny the inevitability no longer. The more they held on, the more they ignored it, the harder it would be to let go. The harder it would be to say goodbye.

With each passing second Arizona felt her heart break even more as she fought to hold back her tears. She was stronger than this, she was a good man in a storm. She needed to be stronger for herself. She needed to be stronger for Calliope. Otherwise this would take a lot more out of them than was physically necessary. She briefly looks into her lover's eyes, not holding the gaze for too long and stir up emotions she did not want to bear at the moment.

**Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales.**

**That your mouth will not say, the truth impales.**

**That you don't need me, but you won't leave me.**

**My love's too big for you, my love.**

**My love's too big for you, my love.**

"Come here."

She closes her laptop and sets it aside, making room for _her _Calliope. As Callie sits down, Arizona grabs her face and pulls her in for a kiss. A kiss full of want, full of need, full of desire. A kiss oh so full of love that neither wanted to stop. For as their lips met the spark appeared, the spark they knew they were never going to find with anyone else. The spark that ignited this unforgettable romance and made it the most passionate of both their lives.

Neither wanted to end the kiss, as that would mean they had to stop. Their whole relationship was based on living in the moment, so to live in it one last time made it almost bittersweet, more bitter for the both of them. They savoured their last kiss, ending it as they both knew they should. Stealing one last kiss, Callie rested her forehead against Arizona's, closing her eyes in an attempt to keep her tears at bay. For one too many had escaped already. She did not want to appear a mess, although she knew that that was inevitable as well.

"God, what are we gonna do?" she whispers, desperation clear as the light of day in her voice.

After a brief pause Arizona spoke up, pain evident in her voice, "Well, I'm gonna get my stuff together."

Letting out a sob, Callie pulled the blonde in for a tight hug, not yet ready to let her go. Although surprised, Arizona soon relaxes into the embrace, squeezing her back. She revels in the hug, as it may just be the last intimate hug the two will share. It is this hug that makes her feel as if she needs to hold on for dear life, this hug that makes her realise just how much she does not want to let her go. Because the moment they let go, the moment they released each other, was the one moment they dreaded.

"And what? We'll just…"

"We'll see each other at work," she finishes for Callie, knowing that she was not going there, but it gave her the comfort she needed. It gave _them _the comfort they needed. She presses her lips to the base of Callie's neck, burying her nose to breathe in her intoxicating smell one last time.

Beginning to sob, Callie speaks up, "I'm so sorry. I _love _you."

She grasps at Arizona's back, trying aimlessly to pull her closer.

Hearing Callie sobbing only made it even harder for Arizona to hold in her own tears. Tears began flowing down her cheeks as she responded, the words coming from her breaking heart.

"Me too, me too."

**Tell me what to do, to take away the you.**

The two remain there for what seems to be forever, holding each other close, for as long as they needed to get one last feel of how amazingly wonderful it felt to be in each other's arms. Words failed to come to mind as Callie threaded her hand in Arizona's hair, burying her face in the side of her neck, taking a deep breath to get the scent of bubblegum embedded in her brain. She wore the scent for her patients, but Callie loved it more, if possible. It only made her all the more different to the rest of them. It made her special. And all be damned if Arizona was anything close to normal. Callie smiled softly, contrasting the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Arizona bit her lip and reluctantly pulled away, hearing Callie's sigh of disapproval and disappointment, a mutual feeling. She cupped her cheek, wiping the dried tears, only for them to replaced with fresh ones. She pressed her lips into a thin line and leaned forward, pressing her lips to Callie's forehead, her eyes closed. She sat back and studied her features for a second, before using every bit of her strength to get up and walk to their room for the last time.

Callie sat there, dumbfounded for a second. Sobs wreaked her body as she heard the bedroom door close. She brought her hands up to cover her face as she cried. She did not want this to happen. She wanted to hold onto Arizona for as long as she could. To hold her close. To kiss her. To pleasure her in the most amazing ways that made her only love her even more.

Wiping the tears from her face she got up off the couch and walked into their bedroom. Arizona was now exiting the bathroom, items in her hands. But as she looked up and saw Callie standing there in the door she could no longer take it. The tension that would ensue, the awkwardness, the inability to look at her the ways she was used to.

After about a second the two came crashing together, lips, hands, bodies, everything. The items in Arizona's hands clattered to the floor replaced by the curvaceous Latina. They kissed frantically, hands roaming to every body part they could reach as they fell onto the bed. Soon, clothes were discarded, moans filled the room, gasps, words otherwise not uttered until that moment of intense passion and love,

as they made love for the final time.

**And if I was stronger, then I would tell you no.**

**And if I was stronger, then I will leave this show.**

**And if I was stronger, then I would up and go.**

**But here I am, and here we go again.**

The next thing Callie knew, the shrill beeping of her alarm clock awoke her. She bolted upright in bed, eyes glancing around the room to find the familiar face. Her face and heart fell as her gaze landed upon a note beside her table. She knew that they deserved a better goodbye, but it was one that neither of them could handle.

_I'll love you, forever and always._

She sighed as she got up to get ready for work. A day filled with avoiding the Pediatric ward, of ducking out of sight whenever a blonde head floated by, dimples screaming at her. Just another day at work.

She got dressed and moved to leave her room when she saw the roll of pictures they had taken in the photo booth. Smiling, she ran her fingers down the four photos. As she left she uttered six words that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"I'll never forget you, Arizona Robbins."

**My love's too big for you, my love.**

**My love's too big for you, my love.**


End file.
